


I'm Off The Deep End, Watch As I Dive In

by xLoveMx



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Barebacking, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Choking, Emotional Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Rough Sex, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:21:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26652847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLoveMx/pseuds/xLoveMx
Summary: What did you do? An unspoken question between them as their eyes locked and Caleb could feel his defenses slipping.
Relationships: Eodwulf/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 10
Kudos: 90





	I'm Off The Deep End, Watch As I Dive In

**Author's Note:**

> Just...a little something that wasn't going to leave my head until I wrote it down.  
> Someone give Caleb a hug.

Nobody had paid any mind to the figure slinking out of the tavern and through the shadows of the streets. He was sure that, even If he had been seen and noticed a quick mention of who he was, would have granted him free passage into the Shimmer Ward.

There was no one to stop him though, nobody seeming to care for the shadow of a man that was making his way across the grounds, or if there was, they didn’t think of him as a threat that had to be dealt with immediately. Most of the houses had long gone dark, except for two that stood in close proximity to each other. One Caleb knew well and with the other one he didn’t need to reach far to figure out whom it belonged to.

He lingered for a moment, having half a mind to go to the one that had first caught his attention, but there were too many entanglements there, and a softness he didn’t need right now. Maybe couldn’t even stand if he thought about it. The pain in his chest seemed to intensify just thinking about it and so Caleb made a beeline across the grounds, approaching the slightly smaller house and coming to a halt in front of the wooden door. For a moment he looked down at his ever so slightly shaking hand before raising it to knock, only to find that the door swung open easily.

There was no one in sight, no servant or household staff to greet him, just the dimly lit interior of a sitting room that wasn’t unlike the one he had seen in Astrid’s house a few months ago.

„Didn’t think I’d see you again so soon,” Eadwulf’s voice was almost teasing and Caleb caught sight of him at the foot of the stairs where he was leaning against the bannister. He was dressed much less formal now, the sleeves of his shirt rolled upwards, revealing the tattoos Caleb had only gotten a short glimpse of earlier. His chest tightened again and the mood in the room instantly shifted.

 _What did you do?_ An unspoken question between them as their eyes locked and Caleb could feel his defenses slipping. Not that he had come here to keep them up anyway, but he had always been someone who enjoyed being in control and to give that up so easily didn’t always go smoothly.

 _Don’t ask._ An unspoken answer in return as he shut the door behind himself, the sound almost too loud echoing through the otherwise quiet house. Caleb almost seemed to feel the weight of the other man’s hand on his shoulder from earlier that night as he watched his friend turn and head back upstairs. Following him, Caleb almost laughed as he stumbled in his eagerness to catch up.

The upstairs floor was made up out of one room, except for what Caleb assumed was a small bathroom of sorts to the left. There was a desk and some shelves, a small reading chair with a table and a wardrobe next to a bed that took up half the back wall of the room. He almost cursed himself for his keen mind, because it compelled him to take it all in when really he wanted to focus on other things.

Luckily Eadwulf didn’t give him much time to think, because just when Caleb’s eyes had settled on the perfectly fitted sheets, he felt an arm wrap around him and a familiar hand close around his throat. It was just enough pressure to have him tense up a little, adrenaline instantly surging through his veins, but not enough for his flight instinct to kick in.

“’This what you want, pretty boy?” His voice was a low rumble in Caleb’s ear and he instantly shivered, resisting the urge to push into the other man’s grip.

He didn’t need to say it, but there were vivid flashbacks to their teen years when they had first done this, figuring out who enjoyed taking control, and who enjoyed giving it up. Maybe it was the fact that he had always been the main focus of Trent’s experiments, the prodigy, and the desire to be the best and match up to those expectations, that had made him want to surrender.

Well, and maybe it had been _those arms_ too.

“Strip.” The grip on his throat loosened ever so slightly and Caleb drew in a breath, shaky hands coming up to shrug off the coat and undo the buttons of his shirt. His heart was beating against his ribcage almost painfully, and yet it felt strangely liberating. It distracted him from the thoughts that had been running wild inside his head the moment he had stepped into that chamber. He had crafted it himself, and brought this upon himself really, Caleb was well aware of that, but there was no way he could have let himself forget what had gotten him here, and why he couldn’t lose focus. He was still a hypocrite though, felt like he always had been, so the pain that had surfaced with stepping into that room had been strangely welcome, but also overwhelming.

The shirt was being pulled from his shoulders, short fingernails scraping across his back and the sharp pain of it bringing him back to reality. “I always wondered about all the things that go on in that pretty little head of yours whenever your eyes glaze over like that...” Wulf was in front of him now, one hand tangling in his long hair and yanking him forward into a kiss.

 _Oh._ They had never done that before, for obvious reasons, but Caleb couldn’t help but wonder if the thought of doing this had crossed Eadwulf’s mind the moment he had seen him with his long hair.

The sharp pain subsided and instead Caleb felt heat pooling at the base of his spine as his own hands came up to tear at the other man’s clothes. Fingers roamed over bare skin, catching on the small scars on Wulf’s forearm before he felt arms wrap around him, his entire body being lifted off the ground.

Caleb gasped, momentarily losing direction as he was dropped onto the bed and then catching sight of Eadwulf again who had stripped down entirely, climbing onto the bed. He was hovering above Caleb now, whose tongue darted out to lick his dry lips. They would be chapped in the morning from biting down on them, he could already tell, but he also couldn’t even begin to explain how little he cared.

“ _Please,”_ His voice was hoarse and a little shaky as he spoke, hands attempting to grasp at the other man once more but being immediately caught and trapped above his head. Caleb felt his cheeks heating up as his eyes met with Wulf’s, whose own pupils were blown wide while his lips had curved into some sort of smile.

“Please, what?” he asked, one hand sneaking down to undo the button of Caleb’s pants and tugging them down while the other still firmly trapped his wrists above his head. “I’d love to take my time with you...there’s so much we have to catch up on,” His voice was almost a purr now, and it sent a shiver down Caleb’s spine as he writhed in the other man’s grasp. “But that’s not what you want, is it?”

The grip on his wrists loosened for a moment, but before Caleb could even respond, he was turned over and another hand wrapped around his neck, pressing his face into the mattress. His fingers were grasping at the sheets now, trying to find something to hold on to as he focused on his breathing.

_In and out. In and out._

His head was spinning, but he wasn’t about to complain. There weren’t many people who could turn off the ever-circling thoughts in his mind, he himself surely couldn’t, but Wulf had always been good at making him forget who he was. Even if it was just for a few minutes.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to make sure that pretty little head of yours can’t comprehend anything other than my name,”

Caleb moaned, resisting the urge to reach between himself and the mattress, because what little friction he was getting right now wasn’t nearly enough. He knew it would only get him punished though, and while that was partly what he was looking for it wasn’t the right kind of punishment.

He felt hands on his hips then as his ass was being pulled into the air and even though he knew it was coming Caleb still cried out at the intrusion. His grip on the sheets tightened as he felt the other man bury himself inside almost completely, but giving Caleb no time to adjust to the burn or size as Eadwulf pulled out once more and slammed back in, quickly building a steady rhythm that made Caleb cry out again and again.

He felt a hand slide up his back at some point, fingers tangling in his hair and yanking his head up and his face away from the mattress. He tried bracing himself on all fours, but the sheer force with which Eadwulf was moving almost catapulted him forward on the bed, and if it hadn’t been for the other man’s hands holding him firmly in place, Caleb wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold himself up.

He could feel fingernails digging into his skin and he was sure that there were going to be marks left all over his body, which would serve as a reminder of this tomorrow, and the thought of it was almost comforting.

Gasping as he was pulled upwards, Caleb then felt an arm wrapping around his chest and locking him in place while Eadwulf’s fingers wrapped around his throat again. It wasn’t a tight grasp, but it was enough to make him bite his lip as he attempted to hold onto the last bit of his sanity.

_Old habits die hard._

“You’re being so good for me,” The other man’s voice was rough in his ear and Caleb could feel his own cock throbbing where it stayed abandoned, the urge to touch himself becoming almost overwhelming.

The cool metal of the necklace he had spotted on his friend earlier that evening was pressing into Caleb’s back and he whimpered, not quite sure he could have articulate any words right now, even if he wanted to. His vision had gone slightly blurry and he was sure that he was tasting blood at this point.

 _Please_. He was forming the word in his mind, and maybe he was even attempting to move his mouth, but nothing but a sob came out as Wulf’s hand finally eased off his throat and traveled down over his chest and stomach, before finally wrapping around Caleb’s cock. It was the mix of relief and pain from the relentless rhythm the other man was still keeping up that sent him over the edge eventually and Caleb felt himself bending forward, his face pressed into the mattress once more.

He wasn’t quite sure what happened after that. When he eventually came back to himself the room was quiet, and he needed a moment to figure out where he was. His entire body was aching, but at the same time he felt far less on edge than he had just a few minutes ago.

_Minutes? Hours?_

Slowly wriggling his fingers, Caleb reached up to touch his face, finding that the tears had dried and left him with a slightly unpleasant feeling and the urge to wipe his cheeks over and over again.

Another hand joined his own then, pushing the hair from his face and he instantly felt goosebumps break out on his skin. Cracking one eye open and adjusting to the dim lighting in the room, Caleb eventually caught sight of Eadwulf, who sat propped up against the headboard, the expression in his eyes unreadable.

“You could stay,” He eventually spoke, his voice much softer now that he had seemingly provided what Caleb had asked for, and for a moment he considered it, his heart stumbling in his chest.

“I should...probably go,” His hand came up to rest on Wulf’s for a moment, just taking in the warmth and comfort for a split second, before turning his face to place a kiss to the other man’s palm. “But thank you,”

“Wouldn’t want your friend to come looking for you. I certainly don’t want to be the target of their wrath,” There was the hint of a laugh in his voice, but Caleb could tell that he wasn’t mocking them. There was a genuine respect there, even though Eadwulf probably didn’t fully understand the rest of the Nein.

“No, you really don’t.” He agreed, propping himself up then, trying to feel himself out and see if he could be walking back to the Inn without fully embarrassing himself due to his legs giving in at some point.

“There’s a bathroom over there, feel free to use it and see yourself out, I’ve got an early meeting tomorrow.” Their eyes met and neither of them needed to elaborate on the subject any further. “And...take care of yourself,” The hand fell away then and Caleb almost sighed at the loss of contact, but then caught himself.

He knew better than to get sentimental, and so he watched as Wulf slid under the covers, facing away from him. He found his own clothes folded neatly at the foot of the bed and decided to quickly wipe himself down before getting dressed and heading out, his legs still shaking a little as he stepped out into the cool night air.

Rexxentrum lay quiet, the streets illuminated by the few lanterns and the moonlight as he walked, seemingly feeling every bone in his body, but knowing that he’d at least be able to sleep tonight.


End file.
